Ann Coulter

Let's just do this once, just to acknowledge that "she" is still out there and is the same as "she" ever was (other than her dwindling book sales figures), which is to say, a dishonest, racist, homophobic shrew. Or at least, that's the character "she" plays. Some highlights from her latest masterpiece, which harshly condemns the cold-blooded slaying of abortionist George Tiller.

Ha, ha! Just kidding.

For years, we've had to hear about the grave threat that Americans might overreact to a terrorist attack committed by 19 Muslims shouting "Allahu akbar" as they flew commercial jets into American skyscrapers. That would be the equivalent of 19 pro-lifers shouting "Abortion kills a beating heart!" as they gunned down thousands of innocent citizens in Wichita, Kan.

Why aren't liberals rushing to assure us this time that "most pro-lifers are peaceful"? Unlike Muslims, pro-lifers actually are peaceful.

Uh, yes, and unlike Muslims (particularly Muslims in the wake of 9/11) pro-lifers (her term...I still prefer "anti-choiceists") have never been the victims of any hate crimes. See how that works? You don't need to warn people not to do shit that they never do in the first place.

According to recent polling, a majority of Americans oppose abortion

I assume she's referring to the recent Gallup poll in which 51% to 42% of 1,015 people, asked whether they consider themselves pro-choice or pro-life, said the latter. 'kay...

a) So 517 people said they were pro-life, and 426 people said they were pro-choice, in this one poll, and from that difference of less than 100 people, Ann concludes that "the majority of Americans oppose abortion." Got it.

b) Pretending for just a moment that THIS ONE POLL is the end-all be-all barometer on the subject how does she explain the results from another of its questions:

"Do you think abortions should be legal under any circumstances, legal only under certain circumstances, or illegal in all circumstances?"

"Legal under any circumstances": 22%
"Legal under certain circumstances": 53%
"Illegal in all circumstances": 23%

So according to this poll, the SAME poll that Ann is touting as evidence that America is against abortion, 3 out of 4 people think abortion should be legal in at least some circumstances. Go, Ann!

c) Aside from the Fox "News" poll, that is the ONLY poll (really the only PORTION of a poll) on this entire list of polls from the last few years on the subject that doesn't have abortion being legal to some degree coming out ahead.

d) Okay, now let's go stop pretending that a poll of this tiny a slice of the population has anything to say about anything.

which is consistent with liberals' hysterical refusal to allow us to vote on the subject.

Sorry? What? "Allow" us to vote on the subject? Could some 8th-grader out there correct her on this one? We don't "vote" on Supreme Court decisions. They either get reversed or they don't. Is that what she means by the "hysterical refusal" to allow it? It's not "allowed" because...it's not how things work? She's blaming the liberals for how the Constitution set the system up? Um...Okay.

And in any case, there kinda, you know, WAS a pretty high-profile national vote recently. A pro-choice guy was running against an anti-choice guy and his even more anti-choice running mate. How'd that pan out again?

In that same 36 years, more than 49 million babies have been killed by abortionists.

Why is Ann Coulter willing to live in a country where she believes it's legal to kill babies? She's got plenty of money; why doesn't she move to a less barbaric country where infanticide is illegal?

But the killing of about one abortionist per decade leads liberals to condemn the entire pro-life movement as "domestic terrorists."

Uh, no, no one's doing that. (Hiya, Strawman!) I've admittedly heard this one act referred to as "domestic terrorism". Probably because one American killed another as an act of political protest. Is there a better term for it?

Kansas law allows late-term abortions only to save the mother's life or to prevent "irreversible physical damage" to the mother. But Tiller was more than happy to kill viable babies, provided the mothers: (1) forked over $5,000; and (2) mentioned "substantial and irreversible conditions," which, in Tiller's view, apparently included not being able to go to concerts or rodeos or being "temporarily depressed" on account of their pregnancies.

Ha, ha! She's doing that thing she does. You know...lying?

Tiller's admission criteria:

In order to offer you an appointment, we require that a physician refer you to our center. In addition, we need your genetic counselor or doctor to provide us with gestational and diagnostic information regarding your pregnancy. Over the past twenty-five years, we have had experience with pregnancy terminations in such situations as anencephaly, Trisomy 13, 18, and 21, polycystic kidney disease, spina bifida, hydrocephalus, Potter's syndrome, lethal dwarfism, holoprosencephaly, anterior and posterior encephalocele, non-immune hydrops, and a variety of other very significant abnormalities.

As long as we're deciding who does and doesn't have an "absolute right to be born," who's to say late-term abortionists have an "absolute right" to live? I wouldn't kill an abortionist myself, but I wouldn't want to impose my moral values on others. No one is for shooting abortionists. But how will criminalizing men making difficult, often tragic, decisions be an effective means of achieving the goal of reducing the shootings of abortionists?

So this is Ann's idea of "satire." (I think. It's really hard to tell with her.) Her way of equating Tiller's "killing" of babies with his own murder. Naturally she doesn't come out and actually SAY that he got what he deserved, because that would be too transparently monstrous, as opposed to cloaking it in humor, which downgrades it to merely obliquely monstrous.

Or to put it another way:

On top of everything else...She's a coward.

She's also far too irrelevant for me to waste one more word on her, but if you're really jonesing...Well, you're in luck.

(Warning: Not anatomically correct.)